never play flip cup with pint glasses
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize