Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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