YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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