Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
