I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
