i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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