Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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