I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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