I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
