Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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