Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
