I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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