you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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