I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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