You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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