I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
