The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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