Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
