I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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