i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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