Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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