thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
