This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
