Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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