i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You ever have a fart follow you around?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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