Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
