I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
