Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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