if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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