I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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