is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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