thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
