He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize