Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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