But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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