We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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