Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
