I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You may now shotgun with the bride
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
