Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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