that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
