We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
