another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
