We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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