About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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