who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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