Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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