those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
