Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize