I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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