it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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