meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize