he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
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I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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