I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
