We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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