You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
