Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
